Before I even learned what boundaries were, I thought I had to do everything that was asked of me regardless of whether I wanted to do it or not.
I assumed that with more responsibility came more obligations.
While you’ll sometimes have to do things you don’t want to do, you should not be experiencing this feeling often, especially in your personal relationships.
Routine feelings of dread, guilt, or resentment in interpersonal relationships are not normal.
It usually is a sign that there are poor, or sometimes no, boundaries.
What I’ve come to realize is as human beings, we’re going to keep demanding and asking for things until someone tells us no. Sometimes, we even keep going after we hear an initial no because we’re taught to be persistent.
While this is good, there is a time and a place for not taking no for an answer.
And it is not within your personal relationships.
So what do we do when people demand us to give past the point where we are comfortable giving?
We have to create and enforce boundaries.
You can not blame other people for asking for what they want. People will always ask and take take take until you draw the line.
Rather than resenting people and expecting them to know how you feel, it is your job to say that certain things are not within your capabilities in the current moment.
The blame can not solely be placed on others for violating boundaries you have not communicated.
Now outside of setting boundaries, upholding them is quite another thing.
We’re scared to let people down or disappoint them, and so we sacrifice our wellbeing to appease them.
Carry on like this, and you’re really going to hate whoever you keep making these begrudged sacrifices for.
Instead of harboring this negative energy, just say no.
There’s a stigma around saying no because people rarely say what they mean. And so when you straightforwardly express yourself, you’re interpreted as blunt or unforgiving.